I found out an interesting bit of news yesterday... First some background info
I have been a member of a running message board ( fort hose who didnt know ) for 2.5 years now. Its a part of my everyday life checking in, posting, reading etc. I have met a lot of wonderful people from the board. From the board I have formed offline friendships with some of the people. That should be fairly obvious as most of the people who read my blog are from the board. =)
Several months ago one of my female friends from the board was going through some tough times at home. She didnt give many details on the board. We all let her know that we were there for her and that if there was anything we could do, let us know. Well come to find out this person's husband accused her of cheating on him. Wow thats a huge accusation. Again not many details but she was obviously hurt and upset by this accusation. I dont claim to be an expert in her life but I dont think she comes across as one to cheat on her hubby.
Now we get to the interesting news that I got yesterday. I was told by this friend of mine that I was one of the two guys that her husband accused her of having an affair. WTF? Excuse me? Um I dont think so. First off, I have only physicaly been around her once in my life. The closest thing I got was a hug the first night I met her and a hug and kiss on the cheek the night before I left to fly home. Sure I txtd back and forth with her, and talked to her several times on the phone. If thats what he considers having an affair, Id hate to see what he thinks having sex would be.
I just dont get it. I txt alot of my female friends. Many of them are married. Ive never had any of them tell me that their husbands think they are having an affair with me. Debbie knows I txt back and forth or chat with them on instant messenger ( some of my friends are Debbie friends ) Debbie doesnt think that Im having an affair with any of them. Sure she calls some of them my girlfriends but its all in jest. Dont get me wrong my friends are attractive and so are all the ladies on the board. There are alot of lucky men out there to have such great women in their lives. Sure if I were single Id like the chance to date alot of them ( if they wanted to date me is another question :) ) but im not out planning an affair with any of them. Im happily married and I want to keep it that way.
I dont know whats going to become of all this but it sure is irritating to me to be accused of something I didnt do. Guess if I want to keep my head attached I should plan on skipping meetups back east from here on out. Nah screw that. Im not going to let some nucklehead keep me from having a good time with my friends from the board and meeting new ones. He can drag his ass to one of these meetups and talk to me man to man. Ive got nothing to hide
2011 - The Finale
12 years ago
4 comments:
WOW. I'd have to guess that this hubby hasn't gone to any get-togethers or he would know that this group is more family than affair prone. (at least that is my experience with the several that I have attended). Maybe he should support his wife and go with her to meet her friends to ease his (guilty?) mind.
Don't let him into your head Frankie.
I'm sorry that someone who should have known and trusted better put a negative connotation on an innocent friendship.
Frankie - I remember sr (who you met at the Pig) describing this group as something very unique in its vibe and its closeness and support for one another.
And like Stephen said, it's definitely a group (with running being the common bond, but with varied experiences to which many of us can relate) where support is more along the familial and friendship lines far more than a vibe that would create affairs.
In a way, I can see how someone on the outside looking in and not fully understanding the hows and whys of how our group interacts might be suspicious.
I'd probably feel as defensive as you if I were in your shoes and was wrongly accused. But like Stephen suggested, it's best if you can let this fade away - both you and this friend know what really is the reality.
Thanks for the support gang! Stepeh, the accusing husband has been to past get togethers, thats what blows me away.
I PMed the accused and got a little better explanation as to why her husband felt the way he did. She also explained that her husband knew that we didnt do anything physicaly.
He was going through a tought time. WIth that he saw the emails, txt msgs and saw what he thought was the potential for something to go farther. But again he wasnt familiar with how close as a whole the board is and how we interact with one another. So what any of us woudlve seen as innocent he saw as a threat.
Im not going to change teh way I am or how I interact with people because of this. I already let one or two people on the border change how I am on the board when it wasnt really needed, Im not going to stop being me.
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