Afraid? Apprehensive?

Judging by the title one might think I am talking about my feelings about my grandpa. Not this time.

Nope.

Afraid. Im not sure if thats the most accurate word to describe what im feeling. I keep putting off trying to pursue a second opinion on my hip and I have yet to schedule my physical therapy n which the back doctor told me to go to two months ago. Im not sure if I am afraid of what the hip doctor might say when I go. Ive already been told by one Dr. that I have degenerative arthritis in my right hip. At 36? Seems a bit odd and unusual. Even Dr. Chris on my running board seems to think its a bit unusual. So what am I afraid of?

Afraid. Going to physical therapy doesnt scare me. I went through a round of it for my ITBS almost two years ago. I think the biggest thing I am afraid of is Debbie bitching at me. She said to me not to long ago that some of this stuff might be in my head. Not sure what she meant about it but who knows, she could be on to something. Yeah right, the constant discomfort I am is just a figment of my imagination.

Afraid. Last year while I was supposed to be training for the Philadelphia Half Marathon, I was afraid of going out and running. I was in discomfort at points after the Pig and before Philly. Would it have hurt me more to go out and run? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I didnt even try. I just convinced myself that I would be hurting more so after my runs than prior to so I didnt make an attempt. The month or so prior to Philly I was so worried that I might do more damage to myself and be screwed up from doing Philly that I couldnt sleep.

Gee here it is two months after Philly and I am no worse than I was prior. Hmmmm, maybe I should get off my dead ass, do my physical therapy and then get back out there and run.

What a concept!