Just a little while ago I read a bible verse on a page that I follow on Facebook...
James 1:19-21: Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
It made me think. It might surprise you to know that I am an angry person. Most of my friends ( both long time and newer ones ) havent seen the angry side of me. Unfortunately the three people who matter the most to me see it far too often. I dont know why that is. Obviously at times dealing with two kids under the age of 9 is very stressful. Pile that on top of the imbalance I have internally, work and money issues and I guess one could see why I get angry alot. Its not fair to Debbie or the kids. While I dont apologize as much as I should to Debbie I seem to be apologizing to the kids after the situation diffuses. I also make a point of it to remind them during better moments that I love them no matter what, even when Im angry with them. That nothing they do could ever change my love for them.
I know I need to work on some things. I know its time to get the next round of HRT too. Id like to work on putting what James talks about in the verse into my daily life. I think It would help out tremendously If I were to think much faster, hear much faster in some situations and not have so many knee-jerk reactions to situations. The only thing that comes out of those is me being a jerk.
Wish me luck and as always thanks for reading.
2011 - The Finale
12 years ago
2 comments:
I think it's very common to take things out -- rightly or wrongly -- on the people closest to you. I've been guilty of that in the past a few times as well, as have many people I know. For me, recognizing it and wanting to change it were the catalysts I needed. Good luck.
An awareness of your anger issues is a HUGE start. And kudos to you for acknowledging it! I've heard it said that you should count to 10 or step back from the moment you feel anger rising...but, sometimes, it does get the better of you. If you can sincerely apologize to those around you when it happens unexpectedly, then you're on your way to learning to deal with anger and its repercussions... to then move beyond the anger... Once you OWN it, then you can choose to "disown" it before it OWNS you...! (Granted, traffic jams and road rage.. that's a tough one...LOL!)
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